It’s that time of year when you really think about things like kindness. I was reflecting on it recently because I began noticing the instances of kindness, or lack of kindness around me that had (or had the potential to have) immense impact on our lives. I thought I’d share my thoughts as I wrote them in my journal.
Kindness is overarching, and more complex and layered than it seems at face value. A simple, true act of kindness (or lack of one) is so deeply meaningful, and has the power to completely turn a horrible day around. For that matter an instance where someone neglects kindness has the potential to derail a perfectly good day for someone. It’s easy to be kind when things are going well for us. It’s easy to be pleasant, easy to give, easy to smile. But what about on our worst days, or days we are distracted with our own world? When we are feeling stressed, lonely, tired? When we’ve exhausted our emotional energy for the day? I’m learning that kindness is a practice that does become easier over time, but what does practicing it look like, and what does it take?
Kindness is recognizing the humanity in others. It’s realizing that our world is not the only one, and that the strangers in it have a world just as big and impactful to them. It’s seeing that stranger in front of you as a fellow human, with a family, stresses like you, goals and dreams like you. It’s stepping outside of our world to see the bigger picture around us. This is so very difficult when we are in our own vortex - when we tend only to see as far as our own thoughts.
What it really means to practice kindness, is to do the thing that is not reactive or impatient. It means to take a moment to breathe first and get our of our own routine, smile at someone, and offer to lend a hand. Or, lend some kind words, that can help that other person get out of their vortex of unkind thoughts. Recognizing that we can reconnect on the common ground of humanity that we share. Another deep example of kindness that we don’t always recognize is the kindness of not making assumptions about others. This is a form of generosity that we could all get better at. When someone cuts me off in traffic, or is short with me on the phone - I need to step back and remember that I have no idea what they are going through, what phone call they just received, or anything about their world. It only takes a moment to stop before reacting, remember you don’t know what’s going on for them, or in their mind. Even if it’s unjustified, that simple act of looking past your assumptions is a true kindness.
The cool thing, is it takes very little actual effort. It takes some awareness in the moment - which comes with practice. The cost of some kind words, a smile, or generosity, is very little. It may not be comfortable in the moment, but you will find very quickly that becomes more comfortable, and you’ll also feel rewarded. You will feel better about yourself, and you’ll feel happier in that moment.
So, go try some kindness ;)
xoxo,
Leigh