Have you ever wanted to improve your life, but it seems like you get stuck along the way? Or, you make a decision to commit to change (save a certain amount of money, lose 10 pounds, get a better job or career), and then you try for a bit and get frustrated that you aren’t making good progress so you stop? Then you circle back the next time you are frustrated and make the whole commitment over again, only to experience the same frustrating cycle? If your answer to this is YES, then you know where I’m coming from. We are creatures of pleasure, and we want to see immediate results. When we don’t see the change we want fast enough, we usually give up. Status Quo. Or, are you not even sure what you want, what goals to set, or what you want your life to look like in 5-10 years? Again, we halt in working for something for lack of not knowing where to go. Status Quo.
As Aristotle said: “the more you know, the more you don’t know”. This means learning provides the opportunity to widen your perspective and increase your awareness of how much is available to learn in the world.
When I think back to when I started personal training, I had a naivety that only someone new and excited about their career can have. Everything seemed so black and white, and only through experience and being surrounded with strong professional peers can you delve into the grey. When I graduated from University, I thought I knew everything I needed to know to operate in the world. We learned theories, facts, and methods, and when I began working I learned that I knew nothing. But learning that you know much less than you thought is a true progression in itself, because it increases the hunger to learn what you need to solve the next problem.
We can’t change what we aren’t aware of
Without the ability to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses (self-awareness), we can’t improve our own lives. Let’s be honest, we don’t know what we don’t know, and we can’t change what we aren’t aware of. We view the world and operate from our own unique lens, which is completely shaped by our genetics and past experience. The only way to create a clearer lens for ourselves to improve our lives is to increase our awareness of how that lens is shaped, and then develop skills to sharpen the blurry edges of it, buff out the the scratches, remove the tints (rose-coloured glasses, anyone?).
To become aware of things that we can’t see, we need someone to show us. This is what a coach is for, and why I ask to receive coaching and mentorship in so many areas of my life. I truly believe that it’s more effective for someone to show me my flaws or weaknesses than to struggle to see them myself. We are just too biased about our own selves and what we experience.
I’m a personal trainer, and just hired a personal trainer for the second time in my career. 5 years ago I hired a trainer to teach me how to Olympic Lift properly. I knew I would need guidance and coaching, and I was BLOWN away at the things she taught me that I didn’t even expect to learn. I recently started working with another trainer (shout out to Nate at Peak Fitness YYC), because I’ve been healing my injured back now for four years, and wanted someone more skilled and knowledgeable to objectively assess where I’m at and provide me with structure to work on pushing my body safely. Otherwise I am stupid and want to do all the “fun” things that would surely cause me to re-injure myself. I like that he doesn’t let me get away with my usual bullshit excuses and doesn’t let me quit or stop when I’m at my limit. I can push myself pretty hard, but having someone hold me accountable to what I said I wanted is a completely different story when the work takes you to your perceived limit.
Courtesy of Peak Fitness YYC
I told him in the beginning I wanted him to kick my ass back into shape. He doesn’t disappoint. The weekly interval training he puts me through tests my physical limit, but it also really tests my mental limit. I find myself thinking things like “I can’t do this”, or “just quit now”, and then I’ll say “my legs are dead!”, to which he replies “then use your arms!”. This is the benefit of coaching. I said I wanted to get my ass kicked, and then when I try to run away from my goals, he reminds me that I asked for this. And he’s right, I’m better and tougher now for it. Over time, it increases our capacity for dealing with challenge.
I also work with a mentor/coach for my personal life. We talk about my goals, and what I need to do to achieve them, and we talk about roadblocks in the way. He challenges my thought patterns, and the ways I react to these roadblocks in my life. We are habitual creatures and often don’t see the things that we put in our own way to sabotage our progress. Coaches point out the invisible hurdles, and challenge us to move them ourselves. They challenge us to look at ourselves, and the parts we play. They hold us accountable to our commitments.
Coaching is invaluable. They allow us to see ourselves more clearly. We see our own impact in our lives and on those around us. They provide a trusted support system that is non-judgemental, and objective. They allow us to develop skills and perspectives that we could not have seen on our own. They help us witness our fears, and then face them. You don’t need to struggle on your own. You don’t need to try to figure it all out by yourself - find someone that can objectively see you, and hold you to working on the things you want.
I want to know what you are struggling with in your life. If you have two minutes, write in the comments what you’ve been challenged with addressing in the past, or what goals you keep coming back to that just don’t seem to happen. I’d love to hear from you!!
You got this. xoxo,
Leigh